CLEVELAND STATE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL, RM. 209

There are nights when this room is dim,
And the moon hides behind the clouds,
Creatures of the night are muted,
Knowing I must cry out loud

Where the trinkets of youth are rusted,
Where souls are twisted and burned,
Holding back darkness with my hands,
I guess I'll never learn

There are times when I no longer care,
And sit with no expression for hours,
Day and night are both the same,
As I caress these wilted flowers

Sometimes I hear my heartbeat,
But the rhythm maintains my control,
I never say what's on my mind,
'Cause I've never been that bold

A death march echoes inside my head,
And a thousand feet stay in time,
A casket is carried amongst the ghosts,
Everyone knows it's mine

So I'll hide behind these shadows,
Of make believe, grief and doubt,
Sinking slowly from reality,
Like others, I'll never wade out

Copyright; EGHarne

LOVE DIES

Sunset brings the curtain down,
On a day I’ll soon forget,
The memories from years gone by,
Haven’t left me yet

Was I really happy then,
Or am I just sadder now?
Forcing smiles for all to see,
Gets me by somehow

If I could resurrect you here,
From ether and the mist,
Would you take the love I’ve hidden,
And walk away with it?

But answers aren’t forthcoming,
So I turn to walk inside,
This house that’s not a home,
And a family built on lies

Copyright; EGHarne

LOVE BLOOMS

The leaves are turning,
My soul is burning,
For something that I thought I'd lost in the spring

Though the birds have left,
And for a time I'd wept,
The tears have dried and now my heart sings

And I dance with you,
Under the sun's setting hues,
I feel a childish laughter rising that I thought I'd lost

The bitterness has faded,
I no longer feel jaded,
The desire is gone to burn the bridges I'd crossed

So sit with me dear,
All we need is right here,
Our love will mingle with the leaves riding the wind

Let us look to the sky,
'tween smiles and sighs,
I just pray we're together when this season ends

Copyright; EGHarne

DYSTOPIAN AMERIKA

I remember long ago,
When Amerika was free,
When cameras didn't follow,
As you meandered down the street

When presidents loved the country,
And we could still buy sweets,
When I wasn't thrown in jail,
For eating any kind of meat

I remember long ago,
When speech was really free,
When animals were animals,
We did not share equality

When reporters did reporting,
And showed objectivity,
They weren't on government payrolls,
And took a monthly fee

I remember long ago,
When we had a Bill of Rights,
Before interpretation cast,
Them in a different light

When half the population,
Could function without drugs,
When science wasn't pseudo,
And politicians were not thugs

I remember long ago,
And reminisce from time to time,
When religion wasn't outlawed,
And prayer not a crime

When simply being truthful,
Was not a cause for retribution,
When standing up for freedom,
Did not insure my execution

Copyright; EGHarne

THE MEANING OF LIFE

It was very still outside,
As darkness settled slowly,
And the stars poked pinholes in the sky

He gazed up at the heavens,
And pondered his existence,
As the evening's sounds drew quickly nigh

A life filled with regret,
Of things never accomplished,
Of heartaches both imagined and surreal

Nothing ever flourished,
With his underhanded schemes,
He always got the raw end of the deal

But this night was very different,
He felt a higher power,
Something that addressed all of his needs

He couldn't quite define it,
But it was, oh, so otherworldly,
For now he felt compelled to succeed

He'd been touched by the divine,
He'd discovered life's big secret,
Something that he'd share with all of us

As he stepped onto the street,
Poised to impart knowledge,
He got his goofy ass run over by a bus

Copyright; EGHarne

HOMELESS IN EUROPE

Sittin' on a rock in the middle of a field,
Polishin’ off another stolen meal,
The days go by…

I watch the clouds roll in from the West,
With a pain in my gut and an ache in chest,
Lonely…

And the wasted years have taken their toll,
Once I found an open grave and laid in the hole,
And felt the raindrops…

And the only woman to see my scars,
Stayed long enough to break my heart,
Autumn…

I watched her die on a Christmas day,
In a dank shit hole near the Champs-Élysées
And the wind blew…

And I wander through this vacant land,
Waiting for a smile or the touch of a hand,
From anyone…

So think of me on days like these,
When the snow falls and the rivers freeze,
I’ll be here…

Copyright; EGHarne

JANE & BOB & THE FLOOD

Jane and Bob saved their money,
Bought a house by the river and hoped for the best,
But neither one expected the weather to change,
So they watched it float away with all of the rest

They sat on the shore with tears in their eyes,
Remnants of the past mingled with the fish,
A letter from upriver beached near Jane,
On the outside it said, “Sealed With A Kiss”

Jane took out the pages, the ink was faded,
But the writing – a woman’s – could still be read,
And the endearments which spewed from line after line,
Were obviously the products of a lovesick head

The dinners romantic; the sex, just great,
His soothing words had eased her pain,
The end of the letter said she’d love him forever,
And desperately pleaded for…Bob to leave Jane

Jane lives by herself today,
Way out in the country with the horses and cows,
Her family worries ‘cause she’s never talked,
About the day the flood took Bob and the house

Copyright; EGHarne

GLOSSOLALIA

ieoaoi iaeoijo ijkld kalf,
kdlak kasldf kiild maa,
jadkjf kadjll mkjad aldasl,
daldfl;a ladlkf ;ok;kl ;;kff!

kadflk aldfjl ladkki kadfd,
kasl ieuow ejaldi odiel,
aldlfd leuhgmp jfodall fdkja,
dkkld lkdeimo dwdif ksnff!

ueakalj aifei aelkdla; ialfe,
akldlka fjfld dlkakdl dfka,
kaeilkdof aadfi lkfoi l'aif,
dafdfj fmdjekj kdjak leirl!

kdadl fjdakl iiags ieldio fdk,
fauea fdka ieasfga palejal,
kadsfo aogdal aodfoaj lalffd,
alkdjf lkdfa didsaf jkdal!

Amen!


Copyright; EGHarne

THE GATES OF HEAVEN

I met this guy at the Gates of Heaven,
He said he’d been waiting there,
He couldn’t recall how long or what for,
But he wasn’t going anywhere

He said he had a story to tell,
So I nodded for him to proceed,
I lit up a cig, he opened a beer,
And he regaled me with all his misdeeds

“I killed my first man when I was eighteen,”
He said with a bit of a sneer,
“He screamed and he cried for his useless life,
As I slit him from ear to ear!”

“I butchered a little old lady named Tess,
When I entered her house one night,
A 90 pound weakling with varicose veins,
Who didn’t put up much of a fight!”

“A convenience store worker in Kalamazoo,
Looked at me funny one day,
So I pulled out my Smith and Wesson,
And blew his ass away!”

“Then there’s my worthless mother,”
He said with a great deal of pride,
“I sliced, diced and baked her remains,
Then fed her to my dog Clyde!”

He went on and on for an hour or so,
About all the people he’d killed,
And it was not an exaggeration to say,
That each one gave him a thrill

But then he grew rather solemn,
When he talked of his last days on earth,
He said he was dying of cancer,
Then experienced a wondrous rebirth

“I was born again with seconds to go,”
As he winked with a ghost of a smile.
“All my bad deeds were forgiven,
I faked out the Lord with my guile!”

He bellowed a laugh that reeked evil,
Then stretched out to take a nap,
I considered my options carefully,
As I slowly digested his rap

A short while later St. Peter arrived,
Dressed in white and pristine,
He opened the gate and looked at me,
With a face that was quite serene

“Our records show there should be two,
Waiting outside this door.”
I smiled at St. Pete and shook my head,
“No sir, not anymore!”

Copyright; EGHarne

ILLEGAL IN 49 STATES AND SOME PARTS OF OKLAHOMA

He went to the barn to milk his cow,
She said "Golly!" He said "Wow!"
And somewhere,
There's love in the air,
tonight...

Copyright; EGHarne

GRANDFATHER'S ADVICE

So you’ve started on your journey,
You’ve begun your life,
But before get any further,
I want to give you some advice

Look into my withered eyes,
And tell me what you see,
If what’s there is your reflection,
Then I have to say I’m pleased

Never let ‘em read you,
Always keep up your guard,
Convince ‘em that you tough,
And show ‘em thay you’re hard

Life is but a hell hole,
A journey of endless miles,
It’s full of heartless people,
Who will stab you with a smile

When they’re down, don’t pick ‘em up
Let ‘em wallow in despair,
It’s one more place that you can take,
It’s one extra breath of air

When the bloody battle is over,
Those left will be like you,
You will find life’s filled with lies,
And lightly sprinkled with some truths

So I’ll end my talk right here,
And let you be on your way,
Please don’t ever forget,
What I’ve told you here today

Stay in touch, my boy
I’ll soon be dead and buried,
And if you ever get a chance,
Write me from the seminary

Copyright; EGHarne

REFLECTIONS ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF HIS WIFE'S DEATH

When the seasons change,
When the light no longer lingers in the evening hours,
When the house's shadows hide the dying flowers,
That were yours...

When the seasons change,
When the trees bare their souls to a sleeping world,
When the stars dot the sky like so many pearls,
That were yours...

Copyright; EGHarne

REDNECK DOMESTIC

Shot my mama in the ass,
And she began to cry,
Then she grabbed herself a knife,
And stabbed me in the thigh

So I punched her in the face,
She kneed me in the 'nads,
I crumbled in a heap,
It hurt really, really bad

I tried to crawl away,
But she wasn't done with me,
Mom jumped up on my back,
And crushed my left kidney

"Oh, woe betide this devil!!"
She screamed eighth octave C,
"I'll mung you into pieces,
And cast you to the sea!"

I bit her ample cankle,
And the gravy it did spew,
She limped into the kitchen,
But, hey, I wasn't through!

I was only inches from her,
When much to my surprise,
She turned full tilt to face me,
With tears in her eyes

She said that she was sorry,
Between sobbing and the snot,
My eyes, too, were misty,
Yes, we were both distraught

We agreed to call a truce,
And anger we would shun,
I called her "Yama Mama,"
She called me "Idiot Son"

Today we get along,
And rather than throw rocks,
When Mom asks me nicely,
I let her wear my socks

Copyright; EGHarne

DON'T SMOKE! (TOBACCO CEO'S LAMENT)

I used to love my cigarettes,
Used to puff with pride,
Then government regulations,
Forced my ass outside

Doctors criticized me,
Wackos pitched a bitch,
Lawsuits quickly followed,
And attorneys all got rich

So now I'm a pariah,
I get the evil eye,
From condescending health freaks,
Who rabidly proselytize:

Don't smoke!
We know you're not quite human!
Don't smoke!
We pray you live in fear!
Don't smoke!
Why can't you be normal?
Don't smoke!
Relax and have a beer!

Ain't no more commercials,
Ah, they were so grand!
Majestic sounding music,
With the Marlboro man!

But alcohol floods the airwaves
Our nation's favorite drug,
When faced with the hypocrisy,
Activists smile and shrug

So I absorb the slings and arrows,
Courtesy nimrods in a funk,
I always like to heed advice,
From cretins who are drunk

Don't smoke!
Get out on the highways!
Don't smoke!
We've been killing all these years!
Don't smoke!
Won't you come and join us?
Don't smoke!
Relax and have some beers!

Copyright; EGHarne

SELTZER SUE

I started bowling Thursday evenings
With this gal named Seltzer Sue,
Gracious, what a big girl!
She could break a man in two

We talked a little and we laughed a lot,
As she jiggled in her clothes so tight,
And we fell in love between the beer and the cigarettes,
The spares and the strikes

We went strong for fifteen years,
'til the day of the accident,
She slid down the gutter with a chocolate bar,
And no one's seen her since

Sometimes when the lanes are quiet,
And the boys a drillin' holes in balls,
I think of how much I loved that girl,
Cellulite and all...

Copyright; EGHarne

MY LITTLE COCONUT

I met her at the graveyard,
Where I was digging holes,
For the stiffs discarded daily,
By the local old folks' home

She came out of the shadows,
And a stench filled the air,
She was naked as a jaybird,
With braided armpit hair

She said that she was lonely,
But let me tell ya what,
I knew from that moment,
She'd be my little coconut

I said that I was lonely too,
I was lookin' for a thrill,
Someone kinda special,
And I thought she'd fill the bill

Her one good eye was blue,
While the other had a patch,
And the dead skin fell like snow,
Every time she scratched

Yeah, she really was a sweetie,
With a very ample butt,
No one else could touch her,
Not my little coconut

She stuck a finger in her nose,
And dug around a while,
Then yanked a big blue boogie out,
And we both began to smile

We ran towards each other,
We met, then sucked some face,
And her greenish rotten teeth,
Left of funky aftertaste

She had a special presence,
Not a looker, nor a slut,
Nothing could really quite define,
My little coconut

So we decided then and there,
That we'd never be apart,
And she played a wedding tune,
With a single, high pitched fart

I will never know again,
All the joy I felt that day,
It was just within my grasp,
Then suddenly yanked away

For as we danced upon the tombstones,
Lost in love and lust,
My baby took a header,
And split her little coconut

Copyright; EGHarne