I used to love my cigarettes,
Used to puff with pride,
Then government regulations,
Forced my ass outside
Doctors criticized me,
Wackos pitched a bitch,
Lawsuits quickly followed,
And attorneys all got rich
So now I'm a pariah,
I get the evil eye,
From condescending health freaks,
Who rabidly proselytize:
Don't smoke!
We know you're not quite human!
Don't smoke!
We pray you live in fear!
Don't smoke!
Why can't you be normal?
Don't smoke!
Relax and have a beer!
Ain't no more commercials,
Ah, they were so grand!
Majestic sounding music,
With the Marlboro man!
But alcohol floods the airwaves
Our nation's favorite drug,
When faced with the hypocrisy,
Activists smile and shrug
So I absorb the slings and arrows,
Courtesy nimrods in a funk,
I always like to heed advice,
From cretins who are drunk
Don't smoke!
Get out on the highways!
Don't smoke!
We've been killing all these years!
Don't smoke!
Won't you come and join us?
Don't smoke!
Relax and have some beers!
Copyright; EGHarne
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