GLOSSOLALIA

ieoaoi iaeoijo ijkld kalf,
kdlak kasldf kiild maa,
jadkjf kadjll mkjad aldasl,
daldfl;a ladlkf ;ok;kl ;;kff!

kadflk aldfjl ladkki kadfd,
kasl ieuow ejaldi odiel,
aldlfd leuhgmp jfodall fdkja,
dkkld lkdeimo dwdif ksnff!

ueakalj aifei aelkdla; ialfe,
akldlka fjfld dlkakdl dfka,
kaeilkdof aadfi lkfoi l'aif,
dafdfj fmdjekj kdjak leirl!

kdadl fjdakl iiags ieldio fdk,
fauea fdka ieasfga palejal,
kadsfo aogdal aodfoaj lalffd,
alkdjf lkdfa didsaf jkdal!

Amen!


Copyright; EGHarne

THE GATES OF HEAVEN

I met this guy at the Gates of Heaven,
He said he’d been waiting there,
He couldn’t recall how long or what for,
But he wasn’t going anywhere

He said he had a story to tell,
So I nodded for him to proceed,
I lit up a cig, he opened a beer,
And he regaled me with all his misdeeds

“I killed my first man when I was eighteen,”
He said with a bit of a sneer,
“He screamed and he cried for his useless life,
As I slit him from ear to ear!”

“I butchered a little old lady named Tess,
When I entered her house one night,
A 90 pound weakling with varicose veins,
Who didn’t put up much of a fight!”

“A convenience store worker in Kalamazoo,
Looked at me funny one day,
So I pulled out my Smith and Wesson,
And blew his ass away!”

“Then there’s my worthless mother,”
He said with a great deal of pride,
“I sliced, diced and baked her remains,
Then fed her to my dog Clyde!”

He went on and on for an hour or so,
About all the people he’d killed,
And it was not an exaggeration to say,
That each one gave him a thrill

But then he grew rather solemn,
When he talked of his last days on earth,
He said he was dying of cancer,
Then experienced a wondrous rebirth

“I was born again with seconds to go,”
As he winked with a ghost of a smile.
“All my bad deeds were forgiven,
I faked out the Lord with my guile!”

He bellowed a laugh that reeked evil,
Then stretched out to take a nap,
I considered my options carefully,
As I slowly digested his rap

A short while later St. Peter arrived,
Dressed in white and pristine,
He opened the gate and looked at me,
With a face that was quite serene

“Our records show there should be two,
Waiting outside this door.”
I smiled at St. Pete and shook my head,
“No sir, not anymore!”

Copyright; EGHarne

ILLEGAL IN 49 STATES AND SOME PARTS OF OKLAHOMA

He went to the barn to milk his cow,
She said "Golly!" He said "Wow!"
And somewhere,
There's love in the air,
tonight...

Copyright; EGHarne

GRANDFATHER'S ADVICE

So you’ve started on your journey,
You’ve begun your life,
But before get any further,
I want to give you some advice

Look into my withered eyes,
And tell me what you see,
If what’s there is your reflection,
Then I have to say I’m pleased

Never let ‘em read you,
Always keep up your guard,
Convince ‘em that you tough,
And show ‘em thay you’re hard

Life is but a hell hole,
A journey of endless miles,
It’s full of heartless people,
Who will stab you with a smile

When they’re down, don’t pick ‘em up
Let ‘em wallow in despair,
It’s one more place that you can take,
It’s one extra breath of air

When the bloody battle is over,
Those left will be like you,
You will find life’s filled with lies,
And lightly sprinkled with some truths

So I’ll end my talk right here,
And let you be on your way,
Please don’t ever forget,
What I’ve told you here today

Stay in touch, my boy
I’ll soon be dead and buried,
And if you ever get a chance,
Write me from the seminary

Copyright; EGHarne